The Safe Vacation(to the tune of Memphis Tennessee)

The Safe Vacation
C 2014 by E.M.Kabak(to the tune of Memphis Tennessee)

I’m going to Fallujah on a ten day package tour
Though I think it might be safer livin’ in the sewer
Lying in a hotel bed once shelled in Ramadi
With a side trip to Aleppo’s Museum of the IED

The waiter that brings up room service-yes you’ve rightly guessed
Seems adorned in some once worn suicide type vest
So off it is to Africa- to the airport in Bangui
Where half the city’s population’s sleeping fitfully

So now you’re in a new place- will the bullets fly and kiss you
In your quarters in the crumbling port of Mogadishu…
One night there take a chopper say your prayers and then Amen
Now in Sa’na are you insane inside drone prone Yemen?

Check into the grand hotel -your room’s festooned with flowers
Perhaps because they’re planned you’re next- you flee within the hour
For now it’s on to Asia where your next reverie-
A three mile hike by foot and bike in the Korean DMZ

And the Japanese ship captain on your China Sea bound cruise
Has you wincing and convincing it’s your life to lose
He makes you think it’s safer in Peshawar Pakistan
So you go there and then to Makhachkala Dagestan

Now it’s time you fly home-which airline you don’t care
But why did you now take the view from Chechnya Chartered Air
Phew- the trip is over-- you’re home-don’t hold your breath
In the U.S., polar vertex, lest you freeze to death

So much now is changing. it’s all just shifting sands
Next year there’ll be tailgate parties rockin’ in Teheran…
Who knows the safest place to go soon may be IRAN!